Home Alone. With Blood?

We probably should have given up after the heated door knob


This isn’t new but what better time to bring it up again than Christmas Eve? Home Alone is a treasured Christmas classic, we can all agree. However, there have always been some questions of, well, irregularities? You see, resourceful tike and absolute sociopath Kevin McAllister spends two entire films not only defending his family’s home but utterly demolishing the bodies and souls of would-be robbers Harry and Marv. We still laugh for hours and hours as this little maniac burns them, beats them, tortures them and humiliates them in a way that psycho kid from up the road does to insects. And THAT kid? He’s in jail now but not Kevin! He’s timeless and cute and we love him. But why? Poor Harry and Marv would be so dead in real life. Like, mutilated beyond recognition for sure. I think we don’t notice how horrific this all is because we never see them really hurt. It’s all funny: until now. FINALLY, someone has taken it upon themselves to show us exactly what we should’ve seen all along.

In any kind of sane America, this kid would’ve been pulled from his self-created torment den and charged as an adult.

It’s like 50 Shades of Grey if 50 Shades of Grey was a lunatic child who went too far and was never stopped. Man, this is really a thing with me. Yeesh.

A fantastically talented YouTuber called BitMassive has, um, enhanced some of the scenes. Check them out here.

Check out each video individually below and Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals…